of all the crazy ass folk I’ve met this week . ..

September 9, 2007 in Best Piece of News Ever

So I moved to the Essex County about a month ago.

Let me tell you

I have met some crazies.

Not just overzealous folk, or people who weren’t loved enough as children,

just some crazy people

And it goes like this

I’m in Starbucks, such is the American Addiction . .. and I sit down in one of those comfy chairs (which are all part of the plan) and I realize I made the crucial error that you must not do if you are attempting to be productive at the bux.  I sat next to a regular!!! I’m a dumbo, I should’ve seen the signs.  His shoes were off.  Big Clue.  He was drinking regular coffee with the lid off, as if he were in his living room.  Multiple papers on the table.  Talking to baristas like they are his best friends.

I should’ve known.  But I was blinded by the comfy chairs.

Here’s the profile of “The Regular”

in his mid fifties

probably is single, divorced, or just perpetually odd

has wandering eyes

keeps the same darn cup all the time even when it begins to look like trash

wearing a logo t shirt in hopes of being hip

and shorts that are too short

so I wont’ go into much more about him except to say

when I sat down he goes “So what getup are you going for? Twenties flapper girl look”

I was taken aback.  Just a little.  Usually people keep those fashion insights/insults to themselves and laugh later.

Wow.

Oh and a professor.  She shall remain nameless and raceless. Irregardless, she is a professor of mine.  And man she is all about roles and the social confines and boundaries and where we should be.  I wanted to be like, ok, well if you are so proud take off that potato sack of a dress and work what your momma gave yoU!

But I don’t think she’s that kind of a woman.  That works anything.  Except a pen, and maybe a knitting needle.

oh

and this was priceless

a woman who looks like a man

and he is her colleague

like directly work together

and they look alike

and it ain’t pretty

she’s mannish

like whoah nelly mannish

but has a really feminine voice, which is kind of odd

oh and who else did I meet this week?

Hyper aware overly sensitive and intelligent kids of different races than their parents who know how to justify being different than their parents really well

which i didn’t need to know all that info, but if that’s what keeps you sane at the end of the day then far be it from me to stop you . . .

and . .. last but not least

a really uneducated woman

who told me

i look like

a character on “Good Times”

am I an actress, cause she swears I was on “Good Times”

Hold on, hold on .. . . wasn’t good times on when I was like 2 years old ??
And wait, I’m . .. .white!!!!!

Kinda weird,

this town is

a weird kinda place